Now that the most wonderful time of the year is coming to a close, let’s welcome ourselves to the time of the year where we’ll be told our bodies are ugly and if we’re any good, we have to change them and all of our habits! Cheers to the New Year!
Wait, what?
My feeds have been stacked with ads for post-holiday detoxes, diets, and all the shame that goes along with it. We’re encouraged to gorge on holiday treats, but the day after Christmas so many of us are faced with the idea that we’ve been “bad” and need to make up for the homemade cookies we’ve consumed. New Year’s Eve is filled with merriment and, let’s be real, booze, but New Year’s Day and the subsequent days after are expected to be an atonement for what we’re supposed to have enjoyed. In this lies a major disconnect. How are we to both enjoy our bodies and all that gives them pleasure, while also hating them just for way they’re shaped?
Last night, I found myself apologizing to my belly as I was about to struggle to suck it into some Spanx. I knew it was going to cause me physical discomfort, and yet the fear that the outside world may see just how round my stomach is outweighed my desire to sit comfortably while outside of my home. What is that?
I’m going to vow this year to be more conscious of these moments and give my body the respect she deserves. She may be large, but she is mighty. And she is beautiful. And sexy. And strong. She doesn’t need to be tucked and pinched and hidden under layers. She doesn’t deserve that, and frankly neither do I.
So this year, skip the skinny tea (that by now we all know will just make you poop in a really uncomfortable way), gym memberships that you’ll continue paying for long after you’ve stopped going, and the shame. Let’s try loving and respecting our bodies! Here are a couple ways I’ve thought of to do that.
Acknowledge how good your body is, just the way it is. Know that if you wake up every day and your body moves, you are in a pretty good place. Thank it for that.
Feed it fuel that will sustain it. Consuming food that will not make your body feel sluggish is important. Some water and greens every day will go a long way.
That being said, don’t be so hard on yourself if you indulge.
One quick reminder: food has no moral value. You are not good or bad based on what or how much you eat.
Don’t let a scale define you. You are already awesome! No number big or small is going to change that.
Recognize that even if you’re in the process of changing your body, you are perfect just as you are right now in this moment.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. You would never look at a friend and say, “You look so gross and ugly.” (Or maybe you would in which case, reevaluate that friendship please.) So don’t do it to yourself. It may sound cheesy as hell, but learn to be your own best friend.
Consider what you consume mentally and emotionally with as much concern as you take in what you consume physically. I can’t stress this enough. We are what we watch and hear and accept into our lives. Treat yourself with respect by taking note of how you feel when engaging with certain people or media. (Hello Bojack Horseman, my old friend. I get absurdly sad and vacant when I watch you, so maybe I won’t do that this year.) This includes unfollowing people on social media who make you feel bad about yourself or feel that you’re not good enough. Got a toxic friend? Maybe now is the time to restrict that. Cut shitty friends, not carbs, people!
Place emphasis on the person you are in the non-physical sense. Are you smart? Are you a great friend? Are you a good parent? Do you make people laugh? Do you care about the people around you? Are you really good at making things? These are what makes you who you are! Not your physical body. In a recent one of her Friday Letters, Jamie Varon said, “How much more could we accomplish if we didn’t hate our bodies into submission.” Think about that. When you focus less on your body, on the need to be some kind of ideal, you will find the rest of you thrives. And I think you’ll like the light you’ll see beaming out of you when that happens.
Honestly, I don’t totally subscribe to the idea of resolutions in the conventional sense; that in one day we’re supposed turn off all of our bad habits and become the true essence of “New Year, New Me.” We’ve spent our entire lives becoming the way we are, one day is not likely to change that. For those of you that have made changes in that way, you killed it and I’m proud of you, teach me your ways! I’m not knocking what works for someone else, but it seems to me that it can set most people up for failure, which in turn leads to feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. So let’s maybe throw that out the window.
If the New Year doesn’t feel quite as arbitrary to you as it does to me (which is totally ok!), then jump right in! But know that this is not an overnight process. It may in fact be a lifelong process. Taking the time this year to note when you’re are taking yourself for granted and flipping that on its ass will undoubtedly be a worthwhile effort in respecting yourself and just feeling happier. Or more content at least. I think you’re gonna love you when you’re nice to you.
Happy New Year!
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